Teach Me How to Live Again
by GracelesslyFalling
Summary: No one, he thought, could feel as terribly awful and guilt ridden from Cedric Diggory’s death as he. That was before he saw her, with her familiar blue eyes red and puffy from crying, sulking past the compartment he and his fellow Gryffindors occupied.
1. Septemper First

_A/N. This is my first time trying to write in third person so go easy on me please! I would love to hear what you think, good or bad, constructive criticism is always helpful anyways._

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**Chapter One**

**September First**

It was ironic how some horribly unpredictable events thrust people into the center of attention at a time when they least wanted it. Harry Potter had multiple experiences with such unwanted attention throughout his fifteen years of life. Most recently witnessing the death of a fellow classmate and being called daft for insisting the death was at the hands of Voldemort. No one, he thought, could feel as terribly awful and guilt ridden from Cedric Diggory's death as he. That was before he saw her, with her familiar blue eyes red and puffy from crying, sulking past the compartment he and his fellow Gryffindors occupied.

She wasn't dressed in her school robes like all the other students, but instead donned faded blue jeans and an old Hufflepuff sweatshirt several sizes too big for her small frame. The hood was pulled over her head, not quite shielding her tear stained face, but effectively hiding her mass of honey blonde hair.

"Poor Cora, she's been having a rather hard time coping with…well, you know." Hermione whispered from her seat across from Harry, having noticed the girl seconds after him.

"I heard she turned suicidal during the summer and her parents had to send her to Saint Mungo's." Harry Potter's best friend Ron Weasley spoke bluntly from beside Hermione.

"Ronald that is a horrible thing to say! Even if it is true it isn't anyone's business." Hermione scolded.

Harry tuned out his friends bickering as his eyes followed the yellow and navy blue sweatshirt moving towards the Ravenclaw compartment further down the train. For the first time since the start of the summer he felt like maybe somebody else felt just as lost as he did.

Cora Diggory stuffed her hands further into the sweatshirt's pockets as she moved slowly towards her compartment. She was vividly aware of all the eyes peering out of the clear glass doors of each compartment she passed and tried harder to keep her face hidden from the onlookers. She had heard all the rumors circulating about her and knew her tear stained face would do nothing but fuel the gossip.

As she reached her compartment and looked through it to find her friends laughing about some private joke she felt a heaviness settle in her heart as she realized her presence would most likely ruin the buoyant atmosphere. She didn't belong to that world of carefree laughter and shameless talk of cute boys anymore. Nonetheless they had left an empty seat for her, a silent invitation for her to return to her old life. As if she could still be the same old reckless Cora who never stopped to think about the consequences of her actions.

The squeaking of the door alerted her friends to Cora's presence. Silence filled the car as they took in her disheveled appearance. Once the beauty of their house now Cora stood before them only a ghost of who she used to be. Her skin was paler than any of them remembered it being and it contrasted with the red puffy skin around her royal blue eyes as well as the black shadows underneath them that hinted she hadn't gotten much sleep as of late.

No one seemed to know what to say or how to act around their traumatized friend. The awkward silence remained as she took the empty seat beside the window. Drawing into herself she stared out the window and hoped they would continue their chatter so she would be free to sit in silence and pretend to be unnoticed. Eventually the girls began talking again and only one took the time to notice that a single tear trickled down Cora's cheek.

Cora continued to stare out the window, watching as the landscape whizzed by, until dark began settling upon the earth. A soft hand touched her forearm lightly, hesitantly, to get her attention.

"Cora, we're getting close, you should probably change into your robes." Sage, a pretty raven-haired girl who had been Cora's closest friend at Hogwarts since their first year, whispered softly.

Tearing her gaze away from the bleak darkness and the black shadows of trees Cora looked at her friend's concerned expression. This was one of the reasons Cora had dreaded coming back this year. It was bad enough she was in pain, but to cause her friends to suffer as well was even worse. Swallowing her sadness she nodded her head slowly and managed a small smile. Judging by the way the creases on Sage's forehead became more prominent it wasn't very convincing.

Grabbing her robes from her trunk she made her way towards the nearest lavatory, leaving her worried friends behind her. She would have just worn her muggle clothes to the beginning of the year feast, but that would have caused all the more attention and she was growing quite tired of people staring. Still, she felt a deep sadness when she pulled the sweatshirt over her head: _his_ sweatshirt.

Folding it carefully she cradled it closely to her chest as she whisked back down the hall, her robes billowing behind her. She didn't feel the need to hide her face this time having washed her tears away with cold water in the lavatory. Only after packing the sweatshirt safely away in her trunk did she join her friends in preparing to disembark the train.

It was when she entered the crowded corridor that she heard a familiar deep voice calling out to her. Instead of turning towards the voice she pushed forward, letting herself get lost in the sea of students until she reached the edge of the platform. Flinging herself into the nearest carriage she ducked behind the side so as not to be spotted.

"Are you hiding from someone?" A dreamy voice sounded from behind her, making her jump.

"No, of course not, what would make you say that?" Cora replied taking refuge on the other side of Luna, a fellow Ravenclaw.

"It just looks like you don't want to be seen." She replied with a shrug.

Just then Cora caught sight of a boy's head bobbing above the crowd, searching for someone. "Uh, can I borrow that?" She pointed to the Quibbler resting in Luna's lap.

"Certainly, there's a very good article in there on nargoles." Cora had no idea what nargoles were and neither did she care at the moment. Snatching up the magazine she turned it to a random page and opened it wide in front of her face.

"Hello Luna, how was your summer?" This voice was not one to cause alarm as it was most definitely female. Yet Cora still didn't have the guts to lower the Quibbler.

"Oh it was fine, Dad and I hunted nifflers." She answered serenely.

"Erm, right." Was all the voice had to say in reply.

A silence fell over the carriage and after several other people clomped their way up the steps it jostled to a start. Even a safe distance away from the platform Cora still did not come out from behind the Quibbler. It offered a small semblance of security that she felt while wearing her brother's old sweatshirt.

So as the trio of Gryffindors who had joined them whispered about who might be sitting beside Luna reading the Quibbler with such seemingly avid interest Cora continued to stare at a drawing of a frightening beast that covered the page she was on. When the carriage rolled to a stop in front of the castle she waited until the others left before folding the magazine up and handing it over to Luna.

"Thanks," She said softly as she climbed down.

"No problem, if you're really interested you can sign up for a subscription," She answered waving the magazine in the air.

"Er…I'll think about it." Cora smiled uneasily as they made their way up the stairs and into the Great Hall.

Being one of the firsts to arrive from Ravenclaw Cora took a seat beside Luna in the center of the long table. She thought being back at Hogwarts would bring on a wave of grief with every turn she took, but her sorrow didn't overcome her until the tables started filling up and she happened to glance out of habit at the Hufflepuff table. Sitting there in their usual place were all of Cedric's old mates, but her brother would never sit amongst them again.

Unable to stop the tears welling up in her eye she laid her head in her arms to cover her face. More people were arriving now, and she didn't want them to stare. She'd had enough pity to last her a lifetime. Before long she felt someone plunk down beside her while the chattering in the hall reached an all time high.

"Cora, there you are, we lost you as we were disembarking the train," Sage's delicate voice sounded near her ear.

Cora just shrugged in response, wiping her tears on her scratchy robes before braving to look up.

"Jesse was looking for you," She added in an even softer voice. Cora's eyes fell back to the table, but Sage knew her too well for her to hide anything.

"You can't hide from him forever. You two need to talk." Cora made a face at this. "He's worried about you" Sage added, pulling on Cora's heartstrings.

Jesse was another one of the many reasons she hadn't wanted to return to school. At home she could ignore all his owls pleading with her, but here. Sage was right, it would be quite impossible to avoid him here. Glancing back to the Hufflepuff table, at the opposite side of the table as before, sat a dark haired boy whose eyes were searching the table for her. Cora quickly dropped her gaze lest he find her staring and get the wrong idea.

"Things are different now, I was wrong. He should know that." Cora answered, talking to the wooden table she was studying.

"Listen Cora," Sage reached out to take Cora's hand in hers. Seeing her very best friend in so much pain hurt her to no end. All she wanted was to see the sparkle return to Cora's eyes, to see her beautiful smile and hear the musical laughter that went with it. "If you ever want to talk about what happened or how you're feeling, well just know that I'm here."

"Thanks, but I really, really don't want to talk about it." Pulling her hand out from under Sage's Cora placed it in her lap and that was the end of all conversation between her and any of her fellow students.

She sat in silence throughout the dinner, not touching a single food item that appeared before her. After everything she had gone through that day she wasn't very hungry. In fact, all she wanted was to make her way back up to her room, crawl into her warm four poster bed, and pull the curtains securely shut around her. Unfortunately she had to make it through the first year sorting, a three course meal, and the headmaster's yearly speech.

As Dumbledore went on about the new member of staff Cora stared on unseeingly. Completely unaware that Jesse's eyes were trained on her and not on the stout, toad-like woman clad in pink that rose when her name was called. His mind was reeling with ways he could get her to just talk to him. He could see the months of pain etched in her face, but through it all she continued to look painstakingly beautiful, just a slightly more eerie beautiful. He wasn't the only one who thought so.

Many of the Hogwarts male population had admired Cora from afar for years, even Cedric's mates. However it was _only_ from afar for Cedric's protectiveness of his baby sister was well known throughout the school. But with Cedric gone it seemed more were staring unabashedly at the blonde haired beauty, never thinking she was taking their stares as a result of the rumors instead of as what they truly were.

She was partly right on that account when it came to Harry Potter. Two tables down sitting with the Gryffindors he found himself studying the blonde girl curiously. She was stronger than he had suspected as her cheeks remained dry and only her eyes hinted at her heavy sadness. He wondered if she too was plagued by nightmares of the night her brother died. Although she hadn't been in the cemetery the image of him landing back in the stadium attached to her dead brother's body must have been horrifying enough to spark a reoccurrence in her sleep.

With all the headlines and all that she had witnessed last spring she must hate him, he thought. How could she not when he was the one who survived, not to mention won, the tournament while her brother died. She wouldn't be alone in that account as it seemed seventy percent of the school was against him, whispering behind his back and sending him dark looks.

Harry finally turned his attention back to the front of the room when the new teacher that had attended his hearing and who looked like a toad doused in pepto bismal and sporting a blonde wig interrupted Dumbledore's speech. No one ever interrupted the Headmaster, what right did this short, stout, pig faced woman have to do just so.

As Umbridge droned on about the ministry and how they were all going to be great friends Cora turned her attention to study the tapestries. Inside she felt anger boil inside of her at the mention of the ministry, who dismissed her brother's death as an accident instead of what it really was: murder.

Her brother was still on her mind as she climbed the stairs up to her dorm, and she knew if she didn't stop thinking of him the nightmare would haunt her in her sleep. Still, she thought of little else lately, meaning more often than not she ended up lying awake all night. Drawing her curtains around her bed she laid looking up at the ceiling as her roommates bustled around, whispering excitedly about the new school year.

But this year held no promise for her. She was alone, with only the pictures and the memories to remind her of happier times. Reaching beneath her nightgown she played with the gold locket that always hung there ever since Cedric had given it to her on her eleventh birthday. It had been empty for three years, but now it had her favorite picture of him resting in the heart shaped frame. She couldn't really explain it to anyone, but certain items like the locket and his sweatshirt made her feel connected to him somehow; they were her way of keeping him close.


	2. I'm so sorry

Hello all my loyal readers! So I am officially a college student attending Duquesne University for Pharmacy, which is a six year program. I am all moved in and really excited except for the fact that I won't be able to update as frequently as before, and I know I haven't been too good in the past couple months :( Anyways I just wanted to let you know I won't give up on any of my stories and I hope you don't either! I will continue them until they are finished it just might take me more time now!

Sorry,

Rachel


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